Hey there! Its been a while since I have written here… I think I have written about 20 posts that are unfinished and sitting in my drafts folder. Anyone else out there have trouble hitting the publish button after writing a post? I think its probably because my posts are personal rants or word vomit!
Anyway, I figured it was time I update, because there really is plenty to update about! The renovations are coming along nicely and things are taking a long time, but they are happening little by little. It seems that as quickly as I can get one job finished, there is another brain wave and another new project on the go. I am trying to do as much as I can myself but there are some jobs that I need to get tradies in for and that means waiting for a space in other peoples schedules – and I am not enjoying having to be patient! The major job on the go at the moment is having liquid limestone poured around the pool, and this job feels like it is taking forever. It hasn’t been an easy one with lots of false starts and dealing with the weather making it near impossible to book anything in! Here is a progress shot!
In waiting for all this to get happening, I can openly admit that things haven’t been great on the mental health front. It feels like I have been barely holding it together, though people around me haven’t really noticed any difference apparently. I mentioned this to the psych in my last appointment and he said he had written into my notes over a year ago that he believed I had transitioned into a state of ‘high-functioning anxiety’. This is something I am looking into now, because I hadn’t heard the term before. I have been maintaining everything I guess, making sure that everything gets done, but at least 3 times a week I am bolting for the lookout at the beach for a good long cry. Being down there, having a cry and trying to give myself a second to breathe seems to be the latest coping mechanism and the psych told me that’s totally okay, whatever I need to do to get through. It was a long appointment and we discussed a lot of the stuff that’s going on, and he pointed out that its the first session we have had where we have been discussing future stuff instead of those past hurts. For now, I think that’s progress!