Sigh-along Soundtrack #1

Hey there! I had a pretty full-on day today, spent a lot of time in the car running around and I had a weird moment, where I felt like the radio was somehow weirdly connected to me. I am sure that for most people, music and particular songs are significant to us all, memories all linked into a certain piece of music. Today a song came on and I was in my own little world, driving, singing along – and then it registered, this particular song and a flood of memories. 

It all comes back to music for me in one way or another, playing in the background at a party or pounding away as loud as I could stand it when my heart was breaking into a million pieces. 

This particular song was playing when I told my kids that their dad was moving out. I had always been proud of not lying to my kids, whilst I never went out of my way to discuss things that were ‘too grown up’ or ‘didn’t concern them’, I was proud that when they had asked questions I had told them the truth. Until that day. On that day, I took a deep breath, pulled my shit together and walked into our home and straight up lied to them. I told them that Daddy was going to move out and stay with a friend of his for a while. I dont even really remember the reason why I lied to them, though I am certain at the time, for whatever reason I did what I thought was right at the time. I didn’t tell them the shattering information that I had just been served up, that he had fallen for someone else and was already gone – that conversation was more of a courtesy to me if that makes any sense. I didn’t tell them that they had already met Daddy’s new friend. Now that I think about it, I dont know why it was me that told them. 

I remember looking at him across the room, while our babies cried and cuddled him, and this song playing in the background.

Breakeven – The Script
So much of this song still rings true for me. Im still gutted, and falling to pieces and just when I think I am going to be okay… well its still taking some time to adjust. 

The song stuck with me all day today and has been rolling around in my head, I found myself humming along while preparing dinner and I thought maybe this was a good way to put some of those memories down somewhere. Maybe it will be cathartic to get some of these feelings or emotions out of my head and maybe it will help me move into a different sort of future. I’m not sure, but if you have any songs like these ones, feel free to share in the comments. I’d love to hear about some of those songs and moments if other people have them!

Singing and sighing,

Synn xx

2 thoughts on “Sigh-along Soundtrack #1

  1. Hi Synn,

    I absolutely Love The Script! Danny has the best voice.

    “What am I supposed to say when I’m all choked up and your okay” and “They say things happen for a reason”

    Look from what I read in your blogs you are doing a pretty good job, I know at times it is like you feel your falling to pieces but Jesus it is totally normal. You are not a robot, of course it is difficult you have Children, your vision of your future was not what transpired. It is really difficult to comprehend and you have managed to keep going.
    I find some songs I just cannot listen to now, they were part of a particular time in my life and I have to move on, as hard as it is, it is different for everyone of course. I admire your strength keep going.

    I love Kodaline, an Irish band.

    The One
    Tell me, tell me that you want me
    And I’ll be yours completely, for better or for worse,
    I know, we’ll have our disagreements
    Be fighting for no reason, I wouldn’t change it for the world.
    Cause I knew, the first day that I met you
    I was never gonna let you, let you slip away,
    And I still remember feeling nervous
    Trying to find the words to get you here today.

    You make my heart feel like its summer
    When the rain is pouring down
    You make my whole world feel so right when it’s wrong
    That’s how I know that you are the one.
    That’s why I know you are the one.

    Life is easy to be scared of
    With you I am prepared for what is yet to come
    Cause our two hearts will make it easy
    Joining up the pieces, together making one.

    You make my heart feel like its summer
    When the rain is pouring down
    You make my whole world feel so right when it’s wrong
    That’s how I know you are the one
    That’s why I know you are the one.

    When we are together you make me feel like my mind is free
    And my dreams are reachable
    You know I never ever believed in love or believed one day
    That you would come along.

    Free me.
    You make my heart feel like its summer
    When the rain is pouring down
    You make my whole world feel so right when its wrong
    That’s why I know you are the one.
    That’s how I know you are the one.

    Cheers Claire

    Liked by 1 person

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