Hey hey hey! I thought I’d share another song (or 2) from the soundtrack of this life over here, a semi current one kinda. Today I had to take the kidlet for another specialist appointment, which meant a day of school for her and a long day driving for me. I haven’t had my license all that long and I am not overly confident driving in the city – throw in there that my car is doing some weird thing that I dont understand so I didn’t drive my car. A borrowed a car and had to drive a huge 4wd but I actually think that it was better than driving my car – she is so big and imposing that other driver’s can definitely see me coming lol. I was nervous about parking her but it was actually a pretty great trip overall.
Spending so much time in the car meant we had to have some good tunes for the trip, and it was such a nice way to just hang out with the kid, bits of conversation scattered in amongst singing along to whatever was on – and the list was pretty eclectic! It was such a pleasure to watch my girl completely rocking out, car dancing away. I never expected her to get so into one of my major faves 30 Seconds to Mars. I have been a huge Jared Leto fan for as long as I can remember and The Kill is just one of the many I love from the band.
The Kill – 30 Seconds to Mars
The next song that we were singing along to was a total crack up and I think we kinda surprised each other was this one;
Video Killed The Radio Star – The Buggles
This one is an oldie but a goodie, and I loved that the kiddo knew it and was singing along!
Hey there! I had a pretty full-on day today, spent a lot of time in the car running around and I had a weird moment, where I felt like the radio was somehow weirdly connected to me. I am sure that for most people, music and particular songs are significant to us all, memories all linked into a certain piece of music. Today a song came on and I was in my own little world, driving, singing along – and then it registered, this particular song and a flood of memories.
It all comes back to music for me in one way or another, playing in the background at a party or pounding away as loud as I could stand it when my heart was breaking into a million pieces.
This particular song was playing when I told my kids that their dad was moving out. I had always been proud of not lying to my kids, whilst I never went out of my way to discuss things that were ‘too grown up’ or ‘didn’t concern them’, I was proud that when they had asked questions I had told them the truth. Until that day. On that day, I took a deep breath, pulled my shit together and walked into our home and straight up lied to them. I told them that Daddy was going to move out and stay with a friend of his for a while. I dont even really remember the reason why I lied to them, though I am certain at the time, for whatever reason I did what I thought was right at the time. I didn’t tell them the shattering information that I had just been served up, that he had fallen for someone else and was already gone – that conversation was more of a courtesy to me if that makes any sense. I didn’t tell them that they had already met Daddy’s new friend. Now that I think about it, I dont know why it was me that told them.
I remember looking at him across the room, while our babies cried and cuddled him, and this song playing in the background.
Breakeven – The Script
So much of this song still rings true for me. Im still gutted, and falling to pieces and just when I think I am going to be okay… well its still taking some time to adjust.
The song stuck with me all day today and has been rolling around in my head, I found myself humming along while preparing dinner and I thought maybe this was a good way to put some of those memories down somewhere. Maybe it will be cathartic to get some of these feelings or emotions out of my head and maybe it will help me move into a different sort of future. I’m not sure, but if you have any songs like these ones, feel free to share in the comments. I’d love to hear about some of those songs and moments if other people have them!
Singing and sighing,
Some days are just like that, right? You get up and have a whole list of crap planned and little by little the plan gets a bit skewiff… I am not even sure if that’s a word, but its a word my gran used so I going to roll with it. It started out okay but just kinda derailed from there – anyway there was a good bit in the day! Lollies! And not even for me, it was a gift for someone kinda cool, and he seemed stoked so I guess that is a win for the day!
A couple of days ago, Facebook had a link about Lollysmith’s enormous lolly jars that you could personalise! https://www.allenslollies.com.au It was a limited edition thing and there were only 200 released so I was kinda excited to get it! I filled it with all the faves and I think it might have been the perfect gift!
Hey there! Its been a while huh? I have been running ragged here, getting stuff done. The bathroom is finished and fabulous. I am completely loving the whole feel in the room now and I even finally got to take a long relaxing bath. Things are happening, little by little and the house is starting to feel great.
Life here has been quiet. The kids social life is thriving so I seem to spend a lot of time in the car running around after them. My circle seems to be smaller than ever and I have to say, its not bothering me at all. I have been spending a lot of time on my own but I haven’t been lonely which is a bit strange for me. Lonely has become a bit of a regular status for me after the dumping of the century and I always thought I did it quite well. Being on my own was something I quickly became accustomed to, and had resigned myself to if Im honest. When you have been in a partnership for as long as I had, you get used to sharing people, and people get used to you being ‘with’ someone. After the dumping, there were people I distanced myself from, and there were people that distanced themselves from me… and there were people who straight up chose sides. So yeah, its all a bit weird, still learning and changing. And I think I am okay with that.
My birthday is approaching and I am feeling… old! It seems the older I get, the more I feel the cold so this little sweetheart has been the perfect snuggle buddy!