Tony Robbins – I Am Not Your Guru

This big old life has me a little rattled at the moment. Everything is so busy and there is so much to do that having time to actually write and polish something here has been another job on the to-do list, so there is about a dozen posts sitting in my drafts folder that are waiting to be finished. But in trying to keep moving forward and stay up to date, this post is getting published!

I am feeling lost at the moment and I’m looking for something. I don’t know what I am looking for but I am in this journey of discovery – about myself, and life and everything in general. I grew up in a semi-religious environment, was christened into a church and everything but it never really hit home for me. All of the upheaval in the last year or so has left my fumbling and I have found myself trying to establish some sort of grounding techniques. I have been practicing gratitude and using some affirmations just in the hope of making it through each day, but I feel like I am not doing it properly. Like maybe I am just not quite getting it right? I don’t know what the all means and where I can fix it, but I am looking.

Anyway, last night the insomnia was kicking my butt and I was flicking through Netflix at 4am, and I found a doco type film on Tony Robbins. Now I had heard of Tony Robbins before now, everyone has, right? 

Believer or non-believer, I think everyone has heard of him or has seen/heard something about him. I remember hearing someone talking about one of his books one day and thinking that it was another self-help scam. 

Insert the Donkey from Shrek here, singing ‘I’m a believer’. This is probably going to sound a little nuts but hearing him speak and seeing the faces of the audience members maybe me think – well maybe it is real. And the second he swore I was convinced! 

All day today I have been walking around feeling giddy. Something about this doco has really made me think. I know I need to do some serious research here but honestly I was so inspired by watching this man sharing his techniques with the audience that I was wanting to know more. I was inspired! The link to the doco is here Tony Robbins – I Am Not Your Guru and from what I can gather, this is just one of the many seminars that Tony holds. There were moments watching this where I was brought to tears and completely covered in goosebumps. Seeing people who are desperately wanting to change their lives and then sharing their stories is just incredible. It was kind of like what I imagine the churches in America are like and that was pretty mind-blowing. I have a girlfriend who is a Mormon and I have always been a little envious of her faith and her ability to believe and in that moment I could see how this man has such a huge following. 

I have a bucket list and it has remained pretty steady for the last couple of years but that changed today. I dug out that journal and had a look through all that stuff and added a new item. I want to see this guy live. I want to be there and be apart of that and I want to feel the inspiration that I saw those people feel. It might take me a while, but I’m going to do it. 

SO if you are out there reading, tell me how you get/stay inspired? What gets you hyped up to make shit happen?

And better still – are you a believer?

Searching,

Synn xx

And then Beyoncé made Lemonade…

Isn’t Beyoncé a super sexy woman! I’ll admit, I haven’t always been a big fan – as a teen I liked her in Destiny’s Child and then she had a few hits that I loved, but in the latest album I think I developed a true girl crush. It seems Beyoncé and I have something in common now, and no it’s certainly not that incredible voice she is so blessed with! Beyoncé and I have both been cheated on by men that we adore (some say it’s all a publicity stunt but I believe it – her reaction and the feel of the entire album is way too intense for this to all be fake).

When rumors started circulating that Jay-Z and Beyoncé were experiencing marital issues, I rolled my eyes and moved on to the next page in the magazine. I don’t even remember what the magazine was but I was at the doctors waiting and remember thinking, ‘well f*ck, I’m so glad the media isn’t involved in my marital dramas’. I have always enjoyed people watching and been interested in how people interact and react but I have never enjoyed reading/seeing/hearing crap like that. These celebrities are completely scrutinized for their every move and it seems like they have no privacy. When my ex told me he was leaving me, he had already moved on, and still I didn’t discuss the situation with anyone for a couple of weeks. By that stage I had isolated myself quite a bit (anxiety over knowing my relationship was I trouble I guess) and there wasn’t anyone around on a regular enough basis to notice. So whether it was the right or wrong thing to do, I knew I couldn’t talk about it without falling apart, and I just didn’t. Obviously when people asked how or where he was I told them, but I didn’t do the usual girly thing and call everyone and announce that he had left me. Honestly, I was shitting myself about how other people would react. I was scared of disappointing people, worried about dealing with judgement and dreading telling those people who told me it wouldn’t last. There weren’t many of them but there were a few and I was hurt to know that they* would be pleased to be right. 

Anyway, getting sidetracked here. At the MTV VMA awards this year Beyoncé put on the performance of a lifetime and my little heart was beating out of my chest. The performance included some re-enactment of the video she made to accompany her latest album. The link for the video is below and absolutely rocked my world. The girl is bold and brave as hell, and said out loud a lot of the things I am not brave enough to even think. There is a scene where she walks up the street with a baseball bat and smashes some car windows and then jumps in a great big tank and runs over stuff. I am not saying that kinda behaviour is okay but the girl does CRAZY really well! I am not sure what Beyoncé hoped to achieve but she absolutely proved to anyone that might question (or perhaps have forgotten) how freakin amazing she is.


Http://beef alert.com/2016/04/Beyonce-lemonade-full-movie/

If you have ever been cheated on, watch it.
If you have ever cheated on someone, watch it. 
If you are or have ever been a side bitch, watch it.

I guess even after all this, I still can’t get my head around why people cheat. I don’t understand why people don’t just finish up the relationship they are in before moving onto the next one. It’s difficult to be the one that’s been cheated on but I am not silly enough to believe it’s easy for the other parties involved. Wait, that’s not quite right. I hope it isn’t easy for the other parties involved because… Well it’s just a fkn asshole thing to do. 

Jay-Z seems to be very quiet at the moment, perhaps keeping a low profile. I am not quite sure what all that means, but I hope it’s only because he trying to find a way to make up for his indiscretions, and not because he is hanging out with ‘Becky with the good hair’ …

Singing along, 

Synn xx
*For the record, those people are no longer in my life. They were pleased to know that they were right about our relationship not working and it was a big lesson for me. I realized those people were in my life because I made an effort to maintain contact, so once they had the satisfaction of knowing my relationship was over, I never called and neither did they. 

Parenting struggle!

‘Have kids’ they said… ‘It’ll be fun’, they said! This is just a barrel of laughs, right?


Some days I am not sure what the issue is about taking the rubbish out! When it is the same job you have been doing for a couple of years – every day – after being reminded – yet somehow I forgot is apparently a perfectly acceptable reason for why the rubbish bin is overflowing and we have resorted to dumping the rubbish around the bin. You know, not actually in the bin, just in the general vicinity of the bin! Reminds me of that episode of The Simpsons where no one wants to take out the trash and the pile just grows and grows.


I know it seems petty but it is honestly one of the things that I try to stay tough on! It would be so much easier to just get it done myself but I worry. Adulting  is hard work and eventually these monkeys of mine are going to have to go out and find jobs out there in the real world, and I doubt their bosses are just going to run around behind them and finish their duties for them. I don’t ask my kids to do a lot, so the few chores they have I try to enforce.

It has become like unspoken challenge, to see how long it takes for this mama to lose her shit and take the rubbish out herself… The struggle is real, but the will is strong! I’ll let you know if there’s any conclusion, if I can find my way back around all the trash!

Slapping my head,

Synn