Sickly…

So, I am not sure if I have talked about this before , but I have an auto-immune disorder and getting sick for me happens quickly and pretty drastically gets out of hand. I have been juggling a sore throat for a couple of months now, when it has got bad I have jumped on the anti-biotics quick smart, but I think this time I was just too busy and pre-occupied to realise exactly how ‘not great’ I was feeling.

That’s my line generally… When someone can see that I am not well and they ask how I am feeling, the usual response is ‘not great’. And chances are that is the response I will give, whether I am feeling off colour or I need to get to a hospital. The auto-immune disorder diagnosis was somewhat a relief. I had been sick on and off, with some interesting symptoms along the way and no real reason for why I felt like I did – all the time. All of these little illnesses were quickly evolving into something more complicated, more serious. A regular cold would quickly become pneumonia and pleurisy, tonsillitis would become a 5 day hospital stay.

My GP kept telling me that I needed to change my lifestyle. I have always been overweight and my doctor had informed me that I was ‘the healthiest fat patient she had’.  Honestly the only thing that had changed in my life/lifestyle was that when my ex was injured at work, stress levels went through the roof.

My specialists agree that for me, stress was the trigger to what was probably an underlying problem. And looking along the family line, I was probably always genetically pre-disposed to auto-immune disorder. I have to manage my lifestyle a little differently, but ultimately, for right now, I am relatively healthy. I’m still fat and working out or exercising is hard work when every joint in your body feels like its on fire, or your skin is covered in blisters. But on the good days, I drag my ass out and walk as much as I can. I am managing my stress levels better with some try hard yoga poses and meditation.

Today is not a great day. That sore throat I mentioned above is kicking my ass today and when I went in to see the GP this morning, she wasn’t pleased. I am currently laying in bed watching movies and sipping water, because if I don’t get some anti-biotics into me and stay hydrated, the doc wants me up at the hospital tonight for an IV. Needless to say, I am being a good girl and following doctors orders. I cant afford to get really sick right now, I cant afford to have another serious flare up.

I have to do what I have to do to take care of me. I cant take care of my crazy gorgeous kids if I am not taking care of me.

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