I feel like I spend a lot of time pondering life these days. It’s always interesting when people ask what I am have been up to, because the answer is ‘not much’, or ‘just the usual’. But that’s not really true.
I spend a lot of time in my head. Navigating this strange new world can be overwhelming and I can honestly say, most of the time I am just trying to make it to the end of the day.
My role as a parent is full-on. We don’t have an easy life at the moment – don’t get me wrong, I know there are a whole lot of people who have it harder than we do, but it’s not easy. I worry on a daily basis that I am not doing a good enough job as a Mama, no matter how hard I try. I question myself just like lots of other parents.
I argued with the kids before school the other day, over chores. I hate arguing with them in the morning, because I feel crappy about it all day and on top of that I worry about whether they are having a crappy day because we argued. It’s tough to know where to draw the line, which battles to pick. If we don’t give them chores and responsibilities then we aren’t preparing them for the big bad world as adults, but if we do, were horrible parents who ‘don’t get it’.
So we argued, and eventually the dishes were finished, and we were only 12 minutes late for school. And after school my gorgeous almost 14 year old son came over to the car and gave me a flower and a hug. And it all felt better. I am thankful for these moments…